This is such a heartfelt ad from Craiglist. I mean, I am impressed by this man and his obvious understanding of why a woman is single. It is so rare that you read something that has blatant honesty and well-explained thoughts. Read on and you will see what I think below. 
I have estimated that 30% of women will find 4 or more reasons for not being interested in someone like me. 50% will pick 3, 70% will go for 2 and 100% will find at least 1 reason good enough to leave me die alone.
It looks like it has come to this, eventually: the acceptance that I will never find the connection I so much used to dream of.
Yet my experience shall not be wasted. These are the 10 reasons why I couldn’t find that special woman. I invite you to consider them carefully and be more lenient with your boyfriend or the guy who’s been trying to win your heart for so long. If after reading this, you stop and think about it for more than a second, then my lonely death (hopefully many years from now!) will not be in vain. 
1. I need more time. If I meet someone new and we like each other, I can’t jump into a relationship right away. I just can’t. I need to get to know you better. I feel more comfortable with intimacy if I feel stronger about you. So if I don’t try to kiss you or grab your ass on our first or second or third date, please don’t assume I am not interested/I don’t find you attractive/I am gay. Whilst I appreciate you might have had to deal with guys with the Instant Gratification Syndrome, men are not all the same.
2. I don’t like drinking too much. I hate hangovers. I don’t think alcohol enhances my social skills. I don’t feel more relaxed when I am intoxicated. I would like to be able to remember what I did the night before. I don’t think drunk girls are sexier, funnier or more interesting. Nothing better than a glass of wine or a good cocktail, but I don’t like to get wasted.
3. I don’t do drugs. Much like alcohol, I don’t feel drugs boost my personality. I don’t make distinctions, drugs are drugs. I don’t want to feel chemically more relaxed or more aware. Alienation is not fun to me and I don’t want to be part of it.
4. I enjoy simple things. I really do. I don’t pretend I do just to be original. I don’t think simple things are boring. I simply don’t need too much to be happy. In fact, chances are the reason of my happiness is being with you, not what we do together.
5. I have this desire to create a family. It may sounds lame these days, but I really do. It’s not the biological clock ticking, I really would love to have a family based on love and trust. Without love and trust, I am not interested and the clock can tick away.
6. I am aware I am not the most handsome man in the world. I am not looking for a supermodel either. Physical attraction is necessary, but after a while, looks become less and less important. What really matters to me is how good it feels when we are together. It’s time to be a bit more forgiving about physical looks and more concerned about compatibility in terms of personalities.
7. Sex is great and I love it. It’s even better when you love your partner and I can be adventurous and willing to explore. Yet, there are limits. I am not into kinky sex and I am not interested in stretching the boundaries. I don’t want to share you with anybody else, be it men or women. I am pretty sure I will still enjoy having sex with you even if we don’t use costumes, toys, scripts, handcuffs etc.
8. I don’t like drama. I know this is a real turn-off for many women, for whom drama is what adds fun and interest to otherwise dull lives. You know, just like all those soap-operas… I want to keep stress levels at a minimum, though, and I like to keep it simple. Love should be straightforward and simple. If I like you, it will show. No mind games, no clever techniques to win your heart. Honesty is of paramount importance to me. I am incapable of lying and would ask the same in return. White lies are still lies. In fact, lies have no colour at all.
9. I am allergic to anyone looking for someone “financially secure” or “generous”. Although I am financially secure and I do appreciate you don’t want to end up under a bridge in the name of love (it’s only fair), I firmly believe that love has got nothing to do with convenience. Job and social position should not be relevant. Love comes first, always.
10. I want to be part of your life. I want to be involved. It’s okay to have our own friends, it’s okay to have our own spaces, but isn’t being together the main purpose (and joy) of a relationship? I will always be on one side only: ours. My priority will always be ‘us’. I am not afraid of commitment, so I’d rather try and enjoy it.
My take on the subject:
Single women are clingy, desperate, have no self-respect, drunkards, drug addicts, liar, materialistic, and superficial drama queens. Yeah, he undeniably nails the reasons for “unattached state” of the mentioned females. The guy is so focused on himself (hence, the “I’s”).
I find it interesting that he doesn’t even bother to say “some single women” or “a few single women”. Generalizing that much? Maybe he should reconsider his letter and contemplate about his expectations. Maybe he should take classes in Women 101 and Relationships 100. Finding that special woman is going to take efforts AND a considerable amount of sensitivity on his part.
The guy obviously wants a serious relationship and he can never be more honest about that part. Problem is, he seems to be missing the entire core of his letter….nurturing and keeping a relationship with another human being. He is so occupied by the negatives that encompass single women that he fails to see the real picture — he is a cynical and egotistical bastard. Unless he recognizes this fact, I doubt if that special woman will appear on his doorstep anytime soon.
This site has a lot of stuff on relationships and the pitfalls thereof. Couldn’t agree with it more if I wrote it.
http://troygrisgonelle.wordpress.com/category/relationships/relationship-misconceptions
Essentially we’re single longer because we live longer; with the ‘web’n'all we have more choice so (we think) we can find a perfect partner. Relationships have become almost a consumer item: mail-order brides, heavens to Murgatroyd. We start with a person’s looks, get involved because of their personality – but we have to live with their character, and character can take time to discover: are we willing to wait that long?
I totally agree with your take on this.
Troy, I agree about discovering character and how it takes time. But I believe that when you are with someone, it’s also a learning experience. You find new things about that person each day, and eventually you will have to decide if you want to stick around and continue the exploration and go deeper into the relationship. Finding that right person is a weeding process that depends on how discriminating a person is.
Thank you for agreeing with me, Daisy! I hope that guy gets his reality check soon.
I think the key thing to look at here is the guy is writing an open letter to single women on Craigslist. Right there should be number 11 why he’s going to die alone. Simple as that.
Ahahahaha. Joe, very good point!
Hahah!!! Sooo true, Joe!
Yyyyyeah… I know lots of women who would fit what the poor guy is looking… including myself… but NONE of those women would be wanting to living in that box forever… branching out and trying new things is a good thing! BUT the point of trying those new things… is to try them TOGETHER… it’s call building a relationship.
“none of those women would be wanting to (be) living in that box forever”. So let’s skip the part about till death do us part, for better or for worse scenario and cut right to the point of your comment. Your statement indicated drama, one of the things the gentleman is NOT looking for just so you can get out of your “box”. I agree to a point but what ever happened to cooking breakfast for the kids, going to work, coming home spending time with your husband, have some sex and do it all over again. (hint, it’s called life) Apparently the liberal feminists got tired of the whole family schtick and decided to get out of your so called box by infidelity, having affairs, destroying families just so they can get out of the proverbial box and have some fun in their lives. All the while destroying countless others in the process for your self gratification.
We are doomed as a society with that type of me me me thinking.
the great stuff fo human
i totally agree with you. people nowa days (well most of em) seem to forgotten what love and relationship really is. after reading what you have written i kinda see alot of those points in my self. i hope you find her in the end man. and if not may be after the end
relationiships are very complicated…and you don’t necessarily have to be married to someone to enjoy life as it is. I don’t find it a necessity although it is considered the norm…family(you can adopt a kid) and friends will do fine.
marry me.
Abstrusebrunette, you obviously have bias as a member of the female gender. As someone who can speak from experience from the male perspective, I would say the man who wrote this letter pretty much got it spot on. Every woman that I have ever interacted with has either wanted someone who is the most handsome man in the world (#6), sought some sort of drama (#8), or has wanted someone who is financially secure (#9). Not that I can’t supply any of these 3, but if this is what you need for a relationship to work, then I, as well as many other eligible bachelors, will just stay away. It may be a generalization, but that does not mean it is not true.
I’m gonna die alone too, he should do what I did man up and drink!
He fails to mention his personality…his self-centerdness, arrogance, and bitterness may be the actual reason for his singledom. And I know plenty of women who live under a bridge in the name of love. They are miserable and their children starve.
how do you deduce that he’s arrogant? because he writes in the first person perspective? It’s an efficient literary tool. He’s talking about HIS experience. Have you ever met a woman with a laundry list of “can’ts” and “won’ts”. This attitude of false entitlement that a lot of people is what is truly arrogant.
So I am going to make a bold statement. Finding the ‘right’ person is more about who you are than who they are. This sounds selfish, but let me explain. If it is all about who they are then it is going to be all about what you need. If it is about who you are it will be about there needs. Instead of trying to find the right person focus on the kind of person you want to be. If you want to be more courageous, more responsible, or just more than do it.
Money, sex, power. Deny it all you want women, but if a man is poor, short, and powerless, you will never look at him. Welcome to your animal instincts. Human animal. No better than the cat I pet, or the cow I eat. You humans make me sick. Maybe one day you’ll evolve into something better than pfft, human.
Meiliken, your reply is rife with bitterness and misogyny. I gather you are just the epitome of sainthood. I believe that possessing weaknesses and faults are the perfect attributes of being, well, human.
AB
She has a point, women have a baseline instinct for someone tall, with money, and attractive, you can’t tell me your dream man is the opposite…?
Big like to your thoughts !!!
AB: It used to be that everyone got married; you just had to do it (& have kids along the way). Did your husband (or wife) cheat on you? Was he abusive, she frigid? Hang out with a group of people from Mars? And the kids! You didn’t just happen to step on a lego in your bare feet, did you? It may not be coincidental that during this period everyone also had to *drink* at social occasions.
It may be that married women are not the trophies of successful femininity that people often assume they are. Or that married men are the studs we single guys sometimes take them for.
As it turns out, being single isn’t easy either. But there are times when it seems positively merciful compared to the alternative. Society has abandoned the “marry ‘em off young, that way they won’t know what they’re getting into” attitude. What is required now for a successful marriage is self-knowledge, honesty about what you really want in bed, communication, and a reasonable amount of emotional empathy. Or you could just have friends with benefits. If kids happen, love them (likely the easiest item on the list).
Honesty is the key. If you want to get married, just imagine what chugging a fifth of bourbon might feel like. You’re not single, you’re beautiful, available, and like to date. Want kids? Adopt a kitten from the parking lot across the street. RT
I’m sorry to say but I agree totally with this gentleman. Every woman I’ve been with has caused me so much pain. I’ve been used, cheated on, lied to, things stolen,etc,
I’ve tried clubs where you need the looks/money. I’ve tried onliine dating in which the replies are from divorced fat women with kids from 3 different dad’s. I’ve tried the mall, coffee shops etc. I’m starting to think the only way to find a woman who has the values this man has stated is to go back in time to the pre-femiinist days.
Either that or move to a country where prostitution is legal.